Hard for me to Except Help

As pastors we are like first responders, always there, trying to help trying to be the calm at the end of a rocky storm So how come it is hard for clergy, well maybe just me to seek out help when life is tough. Why do I think people will think less than me if I have troubles. Part of claiming our authority is to claim the normal part of us/me. I get cranky, sad mad angry, but I also get happy, joyful, playful. I would tell my folks in a heart beat that they need to take care of themselves. But why? Is it because my self esteem is not always the best? Maybe I think I can help people but don't need help my self. Hmm. Probably more to come.

How Long?

As Lent has begun, I have been thinking abd praying alot about the wilderness. What does it meant to be wandering in the wilderness? What eaxactly is the wilderness? How does being in the wilderness affect us both positively and negatively? Well I have been in the wilderness deep in the wilderness. The date since my wandering officially began was Sept 30, 2008 Looking back at how we have chosen our family we have been in the wilnerness alot with our older girls with special needs.
How much is going to happen, before I can't fight the wilderness anymore. I know God supports me walks with me, cry's with me. I am so good as a responder, someone caring for another, when my daughter tried to hurt herself the other night, I was on the receiving end, getting help one of the crew took me on his responsibility calming me as it the middle of it all I had an asthma attack.
That night I wasn't allowed to walk in the wilderness alone and it was by God's grace I didn't wander alone.
God id God all the time God is good